Monday, October 14, 2013

Writing Trizzella....

 I starting writing Trizzella a few years ago when I was a fashion designer. For many years my life was exciting, lavish and...selfish. I would run off to Europe on a whim without telling anyone where I was going, with no regard for the consequences or path of destruction I was leaving behind me. But as life must balance out, destruction caught up to me abruptly when my husband was killed in a car accident sending me on a downward spiral of deep sadness and self loathing. I learned fast and hard that life has a way of replaying out regretful moments like a skipping record. I am learning to repent and repair some of my regrets, some I cannot, and have to live with, others only time can pass. But in this life process I have her, Trizzella as my dearest friend. I seem to write best in the middle of the night when it is quiet, no cars or people chatting, only the sound of a distant train passing by or the wind...I turn on my bedside lamp, grab a pencil, and a notepad to jot down the images and ideas that are clear in the quietness.
Writing Trizzella, has been my own journey and awakening, she is taming me in a way, and I have learned to count on her to always be there for me. She has changed from girl to woman to teen to adult in stages of the writing, but one thing never changes, she always stays distant from the realities of the world, going about her days wistfully in charge of her happiness...
I find that I can write to her during my saddest moments like a little girl asking to be reborn to live another life. Perhaps that is why Writers write the stories they do, a self therapy session with their characters. Yes the characters in many stories are deeply personal, and very real to the Authors who give life to them. During the darkest days of my life, the early death of my husband, I could pour out my sadness and pain to her, and know she always was willing to sit beside me as I cried, urging me to write out similar emotions.
In the writing of her, I have realized that I still am very much a little girl inside, just like all little girls longing for love and acceptance and a place in the world.

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